Hey
How do you do ?
I still remember this feeling,there is still you in my heart.
Do you remember ? when i first meet you?
It was when we do field training in the military camp. At that time you and me meet by chance but we don’t talk that much.
when it was in the end of year,i pass you a picture of Hatsune Miku to you and ask you to draw it for me. You give me the drawing after 3 days and you know ? i still keep in the most front in my book files. And at that time i fell n love with you.(oh a simple boy)
Time passed and now we are so close that everyone in school know that wherever you are i always there for accompany you.
We join a same organization,even though we are in different departement but i always stealing time for meeting you.
When we gonna camping.Your father doesn’t allow you to come along with us.You know how sad i was at that time ? i even considering to not coming too.But we don’t give up just like that. Our teacher keep trying to make your father agreeing for you to come to our camp.
After so much persuation,finally you father agreeing to it. I was so happy.
In the camp,you always in the kitchen because you are in the consumption section and i always going here and there because i was in the activity section.
When the night come you wear my jacket until dawn and i sit around the bonfire.
it was so much memory around that time but it was so hard to write it one by one here. But i still remember when i confess my love to you,and you refused me with a reason. “I don’t want our relationship to be broken like mine and my ex so we can just be friend”
I was so sad. somewhere in my heart said “you are unworthy to her. you can’t have her”.
But my emotion don’t stop me and we can just pretend it was never happen. And,thats it.
it was so fun when i tease you and playing with your hair,i love everything of you but it was not long until we separated our way.
i still remember how stupid of me at that time. you were angry at me and i don’t know what is my fault. whenever i ask you,you just said “think it yourself”
i was so panic and keep apologizing for my fault even when you said “what are you apologizing for?”
and you finally said it
“i was tired,tired of your apologize,i’m tired of you”
#snap
at that time i think you were right,i’m stupid,silly,and the worst of it was i don’t know how you feel.
blinded with my emotion i just feel like i’m a trash and unworthy of you and i decided to throw you from my heart even though i can’t.
At the late time of the school i just pretend to see a stranger whenever i see you.
And now even after so mush time has passed i still can’t forget you.
jakarta,September 10th,2017
Haru no Sutori 